Words have power. But God's promises extend into eternity.
6 years ago, God spoke. Sitting in a 25,000 seat auditorium at the 2006 Urbana conference, God made it very clear that He was sending me. Sending me to the city. This was going to be my mission field. Not a life of comfort. Of seeking after the American dream. But one of identification with my urban neighbors. Making this my home. And seeking after the shalom of the city. Where, when, how, what? He didn't give those answers. He just said go.
Many of you that have history with me, you know my story. It has been an "up and down, but always forward" kind of journey. Trying to be faithful to the calling God has put in my life. He gave me a lightning bolt experience where I could see into the future what He wanted for my life in 2006, but then He only gave me a flashlight to get there. It has not been a linear path, but every time God has revealed the next step, I've taken it.
So, here I am. 6 years later. 2012. In Long Beach (via Wheaton, IL then La Mirada, CA). Invested.
The last 18 months since my move to Long Beach has been one of extreme faith-testing and trial. Full of almost-moments, midnight hour breakthroughs, unexpected gifts, and heart-breaking loss. Obedience to God has not been the smooth and easy road. It's been quite the opposite, actually.
Lately, we have been studying in depth the story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 13-17 in Life Group. God must of had me in mind when He was writing their story. I have never identified with a character in the Bible as I have with Sarah. She knows what it's like to painstakingly wait for a promise to be fulfilled. She understands pain, loss, betrayal, and disappointment. She knows what it's like to have a great call on her life but feel powerless to make it happen. She knows what it's like to have her faith tested at the core of her being. To have to dig deep to find her identity in something greater than what her society deemed appropriate for women. Her faith was not perfect, and at times, she doubted. But she knew God and was comforted by the promise that one day, she would get the last laugh because God was on her side.
This is why I have learned that I have to cling to God's word and His promises when life, people, circumstances seem to make you think that God has forsaken you. Last week was one of those weeks. So I decided to paint. God gave me an image and I attempted to capture it with my elementary painting skills. While painting, I could hear God say, "Remember? Remember what I have spoken. I will do it. I will establish you and your steps. I will plant you. I will make you into a beacon of light for the city. Drown out the voices that tell you differently. Just remain faithful to me. I see and know your desires, and in due time, these will be added to you. But first you must seek me, my kingdom, and my righteousness. In me, you will bear much fruit and the work of your hands will prosper. Wait and one day you will see. But for now, you must trust me."
I'm still sitting with these words. Clinging to His promises isn't easy. Especially when you've experienced much disappointment and broken promises, but this is where God is drawing us into intimacy with Him. Will we trust Him? Will we let Him heal our wounded hearts? Are we willing to suffer through the present waiting for the fulfillment of His promise?
Nouwen captures it perfectly, "How do we wait for God? We wait with patience. But patience does not
mean passivity. Waiting patiently is not like waiting for the bus to come, the
rain to stop, or the sun to rise. It is an active waiting in which we live the
present moment to the full in order to find there the signs of the One we are
waiting for. The Word patience comes from the Latin verb ‘patior’ which means ‘to
suffer.’ Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it
to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we
stand grow into strong plants. Waiting patiently always means paying attention
to what is happening right before our eyes and seeing there the first rays of
God’s glorious coming.” (Nouwen, Bread for the Journey, Nov 20).
So, Lord, strengthen my feeble and wounded faith. May my roots be established deep and be unwavering in the storms of life. I will continue to wait and hope for the day that I will see. God is enough for today. And His word endures forever. Amen.
