Know Yourself As Truly Loved

In the midst of transition where my faith seems to be tested more than ever, I have to keep coming back to the solid place. Henri Nouwen knows just the right words to speak to my soul.

Some people have lived such oppressed lives that their true selves have become completely unreachable to them. They need help to break through their oppression. Their power to free themselves has to be at least as strong as the power that keeps them down. Sometimes they need permission to explode: to let out their deepest emotions and to shake off the alien forces. Screaming, yelling, crying, and even physical fighting might be expressions of liberation. 

You, however, do not seem to need such explosion. For you, the problem is not to get something out of your system but to take something in that deepens and strengthens your sense of your goodness and allows your anguish to be embraced by love.

You will discover that the more love you can take in and hold on to, the less fearful you will become. You will speak more simply, more directly, and more freely about what is important to you, without fear of other people's reactions. You will also use fewer words, trusting that you communicate your true self even when you do not speak much. 

The disciples of Jesus had a real sense of his loving presence as they went out to preach. They had seen him, eaten with him, and spoken with him after his resurrection. They had come to live a deep connectedness with him and drew from that connectedness the strength to speak out with simplicity and directness, unafraid of being misunderstood or rejected. 

The more you come to know yourself - spirit, mind, and body - as truly loved, the freer you will be to proclaim the good news. That is the freedom of the children of God.

Excerpt from Inner Voice of Love 

Taking It All In

It's officially been one week since I became a resident of Long Beach. I've already received some mail and have made a few wrong turns to get places. Going for walks, joining in on play time, and sharing meals with the family I am living with has become a regular part of my routine. Runs in the neighborhood have been a fun way to become more familiar with this new place I call home. The weather is at least 10 degrees cooler here. And I love the ability to spontaneously hang out with good friends who are now only minutes away. The gifts of this new transition have been endless.

"Total Immersion" seems to encapsulate this season very well. Not only have I made the obvious switch from suburban to urban (which the neighborhood I am temporarily living in is far from the hood), but I have been completely immersed into the life of this family, immersed into church ministry and relationships more fully, and immersed into an intense season of growing and learning.

One temptation I have already run into this week is how easy it is to fill up the schedule with stuff just for the sake of feeling some sense of productivity and meaning. Up until last week, I was moving a million miles a minute. This week, I've downshifted from 60 to 0 in a matter of days, and the abruptness of that transition was a little disorienting at first. I fought it by making to-do lists and coffee dates for each day. But as I was running in the neighborhood a few days ago, I heard the Lord speak these words to me: "Slow down and take it in. I don't want you to miss what I have for you." As my out-of-breath lungs struggled to slow down, I found the nearest bench and just sat there. To be given permission by the Lord to just slow down and rest felt like such a sweet gift. I don't have to work hard to make things happen in my life. But rather He is just asking me to trust Him and to sit at His feet and listen. Or at least that's a good place to start.

I'm learning to be okay with simple. To be okay with slow. I don't have to have it all figured out just yet.

I just need to be - here - now.