A Generous God

I don't have a difficult time believing that God will provide for my basic needs... food, shelter, clothing.
But, I do have a difficult time believing that God wants to be generous with me.
Is that because I feel entitled to certain things?
I am willing to admit that my definition of what makes God generous is a little skewed.

Today, I found myself discouraged and having difficulty believing that God wants to be generous with me.
It's so easy to look at others' lives and the ways that God had been generous with them, and wonder "Why not me, Lord?"
"Why must I continue to struggle and face this barrier?"
[cricket, cricket]

Tonight, as I read Matthew 20:1-15, I am forced to ask a different question:

"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard. About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went. He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’ ‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.  He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.' When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’ The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’ But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

It's easy to read this passage and struggle with the question, Is God being generous or unfair?
Well, if at the core of what I believe is that I will succeed or receive what I want if I perform in a certain way, then yes, the landowner would be considered very unfair.
But, if at the core of what I believe is that I am poor and needy, and the landowner gave me an opportunity to work for the day and get paid (whether that be 1 hr or 12), then I would say that he was generous.
Perspective is everything in this story.
Of who the workers were in relation to the landowner.
And the same is true for us.
Having a proper perspective of who we are in relation to the Almighty God will reveal what the true answer is.
God is incredibly generous with us simply because He loves us, not because we have earned His favor.

I was convicted as I read this passage because I realize how I all too often go to God with a set of expectations that He will work in a certain way in my life, and if He doesn't, I judge God as unfair.
I would never admit this out loud, but this is so often what I do.

God may not promise to answer my prayers exactly as I expect Him to, but He does promise to stay true to His character.
God's character never changes.
And His love for me is steadfast.

Jehovah Jireh.
My Provider.
The God who brought down manna to the grumbling Israelites.
The God who saw Hagar and Ishmael dying in the desert and provided a well.
The God who hears Nehemiah's plead to rebuild his beloved war-torn city of Jerusalem.
The God who sees the Hellenistic Jews being overlooked and gives them a seat of power of the distribution of food.
This same God sees and hears me.
Knows what I need before I even ask for any of it.
And is already working on my behalf.
Differently than I am probably anticipating.
But He is working.
And He does promise to provide.
And His provision is always generous when we can recognize that there is nothing in our strength, will, or goodness which can secure anything for ourselves apart from the grace of God.

May I wait in anticipation of this generous God and be a recipient of His daily graces with a heart of gratitude.
Lord, forgive me for my short-sightedness and desire to always be in control. Help me to receive from You as You long to lavish good gifts to Your children.

Let the words of this great hymn encourage your hearts to more deeply trust our Generous God as it has mine.