To Be or Not to Be

On the spectrum of doing and being -- I am much more of a doer.
I feel an urgency in me often to get up and be productive.
To cross things off the checklist.
To do things with and for people.

However, this isn't what is always needed.
For cultivating our inner spiritual lives and for human relationships.
Sometimes the simple act of being is most powerful.

As I am now 25 days in -- living in my new neighborhood -- living intentionally in community with other women -- I am being confronted with self and the Word on many levels.
The Lord gave me this verse this past week...

Paul writes in prison at the end of the book of Colossians, "Continue steadfastly in prayer being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also with us that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ on account of which I am in prison -- that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Conduct yourself wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person" (4:2-6).

As I meditated on these verses, the concept of "being" just kept jumping out at me...

• Be steadfast in prayer
• Be watchful and alert
• Be thankful
• Be prayerful for opportunities
• Be wise with outsiders
• Be available and present and take advantage of the opportunities God gives
• Be interruptable
• Be gracious and gentle in speech
• Be ready to give an answer when the opportunity arises

I am not completely sure what will need to happen for me to make this internal shift -- but I recognize that this is where it needs to start.
From the inside out.
If I am wanting to love my neighbors well -- my housemates -- and those around me, I need to change my strategy.
I need to hold my time my more loosely -- my schedule -- my plans.
I need to be basked in prayer and attuned to the Spirit's voice when it beckons me to go.
I need to practice gentle and gracious speech -- an area that I am realizing that I still have a lot of room to grow.

Who we are becoming is of far greater value to the kingdom than what we do.
I'm learning... still a bit anti-intuitive, but I'm trusting the Spirit to rewire my hard drive in time and make me a better "be-er." Oh wait. :)

Our Blessed Bungalow

I AM SO BLESSED. Words cannot describe the blessing that this home and my roommates have been in my life. My hope and prayer is that our home will be a place of HOSPITALITY, FRIENDSHIP, and LIGHT in the community. God is moving in this neighborhood -- I know it, I sense it, I believe it. We are excited to partner with God in what He is doing here. And I believe that this home is a gift for us to steward on behalf of the community. Relationships and encounters are already happening. More stories to come... but for now, here are some pictures of our casa nueva!

Living Room

Fireplace & Mantle

Dining Room & built-in Hutch

Me and Becca's bedroom

Somatra's bedroom

Susana's bedroom

Me and Becca's bathroom (and guest bathroom) - with jets in the tub!

Susana & Somatra's bathroom (with stand alone tub)

Kitchen

Laundry Room

Den (hang out room)

Backyard (a work in progress.. )

Home Garden (be looking out for a Garden Party to come...)

Basement [not pictured] :)

5-Year Anniversary in SoCal

I can hardly believe it! It's been 5 years since I moved to Southern California. 

June 5th, 2007 -- I was rolling in my Toyota Echo, car stuffed to the brim, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, ready and eager for where this new adventure would take me. 

I didn't know at that time if California was going to be my landing point. 

Reassuring family that I was taking it one year at a time.

June 5th, 2012 -- 5 years later. I am settled here.

I've developed friendships that will last a lifetime. Moved to a city that I love and am ready to invest wholeheartedly. Finally on the job track that I hope to be in for the long-term. 

My heart and life feels full, thriving, and rich.

FLASHBACK

When I moved here, I was saying yes to God's calling in my life to love the city. 

I didn't know exactly which city that would be long-term or if that would happen merely through my living situation or a career path. 

All I knew was that I wanted to be faithful in this next season of my life to the calling God placed on my heart to love, minister and make a home among the hardest to love -- the economically, spiritually, physically poor of the city.

LIVING IN THE UNKNOWN

For the last 5 years, I have been living a little in the unknown. I've had a clear sense of calling, but no clue how it would all pan out.

I've tried to merge my career, relationships, and family into this calling and preserve all these different areas of my life while being "obedient." 

But, alas, I had to let go.

I had to let go of a very comfortable career path.

Let go of past relationships that didn't align with my greater values and mission in life.

Let go of living close to family.

All of which were not easy.

But, as I begun to step out and trust God with these areas of my life -- He continues to bless me ten-fold.

A NEW CHAPTER: ON THE FIELD

My year-long season of "taxiing" on a plane has ended.

The last month of my life has been a whirlwind. 

I officially moved out the home I had been living in for the last year.

Said goodbye to a family that truly has become family.

I am living in a new home.

Getting to know new roommates.

Getting to know a new neighborhood in Long Beach.

Started a new job.

Training and taking in a lot of new things.

Currently balancing 3 part-time jobs (which will become 1 full-time by Sept).

Figuring out routine in my life.

Figuring out sleep in my life.

Hosting family in town.

I am immersed and officially "on the field."

What a mercy from God to have brought me to this place. 

The pilot has officially "let me off the plane" and has "sent" me to do His work on the field.

I am still in the thick of transition and experiencing a myriad of different emotions. But mostly immense gratitude.

Here's an excerpt from my journal that captures my conversations with God right now...

"I am so grateful Lord for Your abundant gifts in this season. You have truly given me the desires of my heart. You see me and know me -- I believe this is true. You are my refuge, my firm foundation, in whom I put my hope. How kind and merciful of You to provide as You have. My prayer is that I will be a good steward of the many gifts You have given me and that I will not hoard them for myself. This world, my life, my possessions are not my own. They could be taken away at any point -- God forbid that I cling to the things which will rot and destroy in eternity. Help me to dig in deep in the face of fear -- You are with me, Jesus. You are my rock."

So here's to 5 years! Saying yes to God hasn't always been easy, but I am confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I'm excited for where the next 5 years will take me! 

[More pictures and posts to come soon... I have a lot of catching up to do.]